In the second installment of our Host Mom Spotlight series, we’re featuring Andrea Birkel – a host mom of two living in a small town in New Hampshire! Andrea and her husband have been hosting au pairs since her littlest was born, so they’ve welcomed au pairs to their home for six years straight!

Andrea describes her family as easygoing and active – they love to spend time outside, enjoying the mountains and the beach. They also love to travel! Andrea says her family loves hosting au pairs because both she and her husband come from big families, so they’re used to having lots of family members in and out of the home visiting throughout the year. Andrea’s current au pair, Nadine, is from a little village in the northern part of Austria. Before coming to the USA to live with the Birkel family, Nadine went to a specialized school focused on early childhood education, making her an excellent fit for the au pair program. Soon, Nadine will be returning home to Austria to begin the next chapter of her life – but she’ll be returning with lifelong memories and newfound relationships that she’ll forever hold dear.

Family ties

“I feel like an honorary aunt to her,” says Andrea of Nadine. “I care about her like I would care about my niece. I want to make sure she’s happy and healthy.”

Andrea is invested in making Nadine’s time in the USA an enriching, rewarding experience. She says that sometimes it can be tough finding the line between giving Nadine space and time to do her own thing and including her in everyday family life – but that ultimately, she and Nadine have a good rapport that makes communication nice and easy.

“I want her to have a great time in America this year and have some independence to discover herself,” says Andrea. “But I also am always here as a safety net if she needs any help.”

While each family member has a different relationship with Nadine, everyone is special in their own way. To Andrea’s 8-year-old daughter, Lucy, Nadine is like an older sister – they make bracelets together, color together and make funny faces together on Snapchat. For Andrea’s 6-year-old son, Oliver, Nadine strikes a balance between a mother figure and a playmate. They’ll play legos for hours on end together; but she also helps him get dressed, carries him whenever he’s tired and is sure to tell him when he needs to clean up after himself! To Andrea’s husband, Shane, who has a younger sister back home in the Midwest, Nadine feels like a little sister; there’s lots of joking around and competitive board game play. And of course, Andrea’s relationship with Nadine is strong and loving – together with Nadine, they’re a family of five people who love to spend time with and learn from one another.

Exchanging cultures

Christmastime in the Birkel household is already a celebratory time – but with Nadine, it’s even more extravagant. Starting in about mid-October, Andrea’s house slowly starts transforming into what she imagines the North Pole to be like. Nadine spends her free time baking traditional Austrian Christmas cookies, decorating the house with paper snowflakes, and assembling handmade Advent calendars for the kids – all while listening to Christmas music on repeat!

“We learned all about Christmas in Austria, which includes a terrifying creature named Krampus,” recalls Andrea. “Hosting an Austrian au pair around Christmastime was a fascinating experience for all of us!”

The cultural exchange doesn’t end there, though. The Birkels are always happy to introduce Nadine to typical American foods like peanut butter and mac & cheese. In return, Nadine introduces her host kids to typical “kid” foods from her country, which they always LOVE. Andrea especially enjoys when Nadine cooks for the family – and when the family tries to recreate her dishes! “I have loved learning what types of foods are “comfort” foods for our au pairs and trying my best to replicate these foods for them sporadically throughout the year,” says Andrea. “It’s rewarding to see how comforting it is for our au pairs to eat something that reminds them of home and I know that they really appreciate the effort that goes into the hunt for the ingredients.”

Whenever the Birkel family eats these authentic meals, it’s an opportunity for their au pairs to talk about who makes this dish in their family and what the traditions are surrounding these meals. “It’s rewarding to me because both my children and I learn a lot through this process of cooking and sharing meals,” says Andrea.

The American experience

Nadine has said to Andrea that she finds American culture very friendly, and that she has been enjoying that. “When we first opened her bank account, the teller made small conversation and asked Nadine about herself, where she was from, what she found interesting about the U.S. so far, etc,” says Andrea. “Nadine told me that in Austria, that type of casual conversation during a bank account opening would never happen! Everyone in our community is interested in talking to her, asking her about herself, and learning about her culture.”

In return, Andrea has loved getting to understand more about Austrian culture – especially the way their school systems work, their village, Nadine’s family members, and their various roles in the community. Nadine lives in a small town and every single one of her family and friends lives in the same small town of 300 people. “In the U.S., it’s not uncommon for us to have friends and relatives all over the country, involving extensive travel to see each other,” says Andrea. “For us, our kids communicate with their cousins and relatives mostly by FaceTime since they live all over the U.S.”

For Nadine, this is a classic example of a culture shock – she finds it rather odd that family would need to FaceTime one another, as back home in Austria, they would visit each other in person multiple times per week. Her grandparents, who are on the younger side, don’t have cell phones or computers because their friends and family all live in the same town.

When asked about cultural exchange – and what makes it so important to Andrea – she had this to say: “There is a difference between travel and cultural exchange. Both are valuable but they are not the same. Cultural exchange is unpacking your suitcase and living and breathing a culture until your perspective shifts. Forming bonds and friendships with people from another country is a gateway for cross-cultural empathy. I want my children to recognize that there are many ways of living in this world and that there isn’t a ‘right’ way to do things. They can learn from other cultures and embrace the vast differences across the globe. This understanding begins with cultural exchange.”

To read the story of host mom Priya and her au pair, check out our first host mom spotlight here!”